A theme park built on a volcano. Shifting earthquake underground. Child slave labour trapped as lava rises.
I’m in a large Victorian house with my family for Christmas. I am also inside the game Wolfenstein Enemy Territory, playing a death match and looking for the best place to camp. I decide on a top floor room with only one entrance, aware however, that a rifle grenade could take me out.
There is horses head sticking out of next doors window. I reach it and it stretches towards me to be stroked, it falls out of the window and lands unharmed and eats scraps from a composting bin.
A large Victorian house. It is dark. I am defending myself with a huge butter knife against a ninja James May. I fail and take up boxing.