You are indoors, talking to a woman who is an actress. Outside Peter Green has a boom mic to record our conversation for an episode of Eastenders.
You are not projecting your voice enough. We do the scene over and over. There’s traffic noise and school kids shouting. Peter does a presentation to them about sound recording. You realise that things you liked as a young man, to make you seem cultured and stand out, now make you a stereotype, a parody of yourself. The kids think you are weird for listening to George Formby and Radio 4.
You have a small blue leaflet from the Arcane School which is a guide to reenacting a Robert Rankin novel.
Phil Jupitus and another guy play the role of the professor. We are joined by Tom Morgan and his girlfriend. You are happy for the company. Previously you spent days tracing the route of the Brightonomicon by yourself.
At the Professors house, we fly on possessed dancing chairs until we vomit mince and fried onion, watch a surreal movie air streamed to multiple devices and eat ice-cream and frozen jam made by Tony Hancock.
Outside two women are arguing. They are identical, but one has red hair. She shouts and loves drama. The other one walks off. You realise you prefer a drama free life.