Ellie and the Ant-Child


People are cosplaying dinosaurs, then insects. Insects have a minimum height requirement. I find this hilarious. They wear strange six limbed onsies.

Ellie is friends with a young boy who shares her condition, having two extra arms, and an extended abdomen. Ellie finds it makes it easier to play piano.

We take him to a lab on an island. Inside is a huge intelligent ants nest. It is poorly secured. Doors are not locked, or any proof. I watch a small scorpion crawl under a glass door and get devoured.

There’s a bridge,like an extending drawbridge, off the island. They never use it. We agree to operate on the ant-boy quickly. We are airlifted off. On the flight Ellie gets ill.

I fly the helicopter. It navigates using a robot arm following waypoints on a huge paper map.

We have taken some ants with us. They have bitten Ellie. She will be their new queen.

Her head on a giant ant body, hanging from a ceiling, saying,
‘I didn’t want this, I didn’t need this’.

She is approached by her child. A similar ant hybrid with the head of a black and white cat. They talk. I can’t understand the language.

Wolverhampton. A friend comes out of prison. He needs money. I offer to help him. He threatens to remove a finger if I don’t wank him off. He has developed a fetish for hand jobs while in prison.

I decline and try to escape. He catches up with me, and I push him through a window. Inside this house is a dead pensioner.

We climb in to see what we can steal. We are in wet suits. The pensioner writhes under the blankets on her bed, not dead. I escape. Through many doors, like fire doors in a care home.

I join a crowd at a drag race. My friends are mistaken for Stock, Aitkin and Waterman.

I throw sweets onto the track and into a nearby river, trying to kill a small annoying child. We all end up in the water. There’s a valve we can climb up through. I joke about it being like a birth canal in reverse. It’s some kind of sewage channel.

An old house. A family of feral chavs. They have offended the wrong person. An alien-human with a golden external cerebellum, he eliminates the key members of the family and leaves the rest to starve.

He turns to me as I sleep, operating on me, saying that my eye would suit one of his children’s reconstructed bodies. I have sleep paralysis, I can’t move, I’m numb.

I am in a weird room. Everything is in the wrong place. The dimensions are wrong. Floating TVs play a music video by an 80s hair metal band. It’s a cover of Zounds ‘Can’t Cheat Karma’. I know it can’t be real, I try to remember the bands name to google it when I wake up. I forget the name when I actually wake up.

There’s a huge chaise lounge made from the corpse of a whale, it looks like it’s on the ceiling. It’s hard to tell. Directions are relative in this room. I try to remember how I got here. I remember being outside. Two women who wouldn’t shut up talking about their parents. I sneak away from them. Around a corner, a muddy path. Walking through mud with lines of Jewish schoolboys on a day trip. The mud becomes snow. Cars slide by, nearly hitting me. Ahead there’s a blockage in the road. I help the Jewish teachers remove it with a shovel. I thought it was just ice. As I breakthrough it I realise a dam has burst, I’m falling through the air in slow motion, then a freeze frame with a soundtrack, like a Call of Duty cut scene you can’t skip.

I’m back floating in the weird room. Slowly, it becomes something like normal again. My wife and daughter bring done shopping in. I ask them what’s wrong with me. My wife scowls and tells me to wait while she gets something for me, some kind of odour spray so she can bear to look at me.

She says I should look in the mirror. I have Lupus.



One thought on “Ellie and the Ant-Child

  1. If you’ve have only refused to wank him off 10 times you’d have lost all digits and he wouldn’t have asked you again.


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