I’m at work, in the grounds of a stately home. I argue with David Cameron about who will have the last t-shirt promoting a new Bluetooth frequency. I win.
I try to find the new frequency by asking Siri. It doesn’t understand me.
The public come in. They mostly rush past, to the outdoor funfair and the events happening there. Two chaps stop, to ask questions about a Sony Ericsson phone and a Romanian answering machine shaped like a roomba. I help them as much as I can.
Katie and Hannah sail past on a pallet, using a sheet as a sail.
Inside the stately home, I help to clean some rooms. One is a large white room with snow stacked in it. I mop where I can, and get a shovel to throw the rest out of the window. I open a wardrobe in Dave Myers room, there’s ice in there. I scrape it out and throw it out of the window.
I return the next day to continue. Outside, a multipack of dog food is on the ground, one tin is missing. Through sliding doors I can see a dozing collie dog and a frustrated looking receptionist.
I go in. The dog is very friendly. The receptionist asks me to wait, someone has just gone in for an interview. I wait. She ushers me in to see Dr Kevin Fong. He thinks I am here to apply for the position of private dancer. I explain that while I have done that kind of work in the past, I’m here to continue clearing snow from inside the building. Dr Fong explains that a group of Romanian students are already doing this, and I realise that they don’t need my help. Outside, through the window, I see a group of men in traditional Romanian dress, some on horses. They’ve already nearly finished.